Do You Remember?
by American Italy
Summary: From his mother's death, to being bullied at his new school, Matthew was almost to the point of killing himself. But when he finds out that a date with his crush was all a prank pulled by his brother and some of his friends, he can't handle the pain. After finding out his brother is in the hospital with a coma, Alfred tries to find out what happened by reading his brother's journal
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! It's me again! And I'm back with another story! I know I haven't updated my other one in a while, but I promise to update it soon! I'm going to try and be more descriptive with this fanfic. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia/any of the characters...blah...blah...blah...**

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Matthew took out his journal happily as he sat on his ,still made, bed with a maple leaf comforter, his hair wet from the shower he just took. This day was a day he had been looking forward to for over a month now. The Canadian opened the black journal with a wide smile on his face. He grabbed his special red pen out of the nightstand drawer that he only used to write in the journal. He was wearing his favorite T-shirt, a white-somewhat dressy shirt that his mother gave him for the Christmas before she was killed, and the only pair of jeans he had that weren't ripped. He began to read over his last few journal entries.

_June 20th, 2012_  
_Oh my god! Elizaveta actually asked me out today! I was a bit uneasy at first and asked if Alfred was making her do this, she just laughed and kissed me! Elizaveta, my crush since middle school, kissed me, Matthew Williams! So I'm going to meet her on my birthday in the park at 2:30pm! I should rethink my plan I had for the 17th._

Matthew remembered how happy he was that day. He smiled slightly at the memory of Elizaveta asking him out. He continued to read.

_June 22nd, 2012_

_We just got out of school. SUMMER TIME! I have a feeling this will be a good summer for me. I can't believe I actually thought about killing myself when I started writing in this journal. Life is actually good if you just let it go on :) 8 more days until my birthday!_

Matthew still had that smile on his face, but the smile turned into a grin as he started to read the next one.

_June 29th, 2012_  
_I'm so excited! Only a couple more days until my birthday, July 1st, and my date with Elizaveta! To be honest though, I'm still a bit uneasy about it all, but would she have kissed me if this was a joke? I know I wouldn't._

Matthew's grin grew wider as he started to write his next entry. This journal really had helped him recover and get over all the stuff that happens at school. Or maybe it was that he started opening up a bit more to people and actually started making friends. He didn't know. He was just happy he finally was having the life he wished he would have once day.

_July 1st, 2012 1:33pm_  
_I'm so happy! I guess the term Happy Birthday can come true! I'm getting ready for my date with Elizaveta. We are going to meet at the park at 2:30pm and walk around and talk for a couple hours, maybe go some other places too, then at 5:00pm we are going to a restaurant called Brixx where Elizaveta, me, and a couple of our friends are going to have dinner and some cake for my birthday! This'll be the BEST DAY EVER! I can't wait!_

Matthew closed the journal and placed it on the bed, not even bothering to fix it like he usually did. He ran down the wooden stairs, placing a hand on the greyish plaster wall, making a slight scratching sound with his nails. He grabbed his coat and ran out into the kitchen.

"Hey Mattie, where's the fire?" Alfred asked, sitting at the counter, the phone up to his ear. He was wearing his normal 'Who's the hero?' shirt under his bomber jacket.

Matthew didn't notice when Alfred snickered "Shut up" Matthew said with a small grin.

"You seem happy." Alfred replied, putting the phone on speaker. He was talking to Gilbert, but acted like he had hung up. Gilbert put himself on mute so that Matthew wouldn't suspect anything. This was most likely the best, and most fun, thing they could ever do.

Matthew nodded slightly "Don't ruin it." he said half-heartedly.

Alfred just smirked.

Matthew looked around the kitchen. It had blue walls with black and white tiles and gravel counters. The fridge was silver with two doors and a black stripe that went all the way down the fridge. Of course most of the stuff in the fridge was Alfred's. Every time Matthew put something in the fridge, when he went back to go get it, his food was moved into the pantry.

Matthew glanced up at the microwave clock every couple seconds, not noticing that his brother was watching almost his every move. He jumped slightly when Alfred spoke.

"Waiting for something?" He asked with a grin on his face.

Matthew shrugged a bit "No. Not really.." he lied, glancing at the clock again. 2:00pm. He thought to himself. He was going to leave a bit early so that he wouldn't run late and have Elizaveta leave without him.

"You're lying. You're meeting someone, aren't you?" Alfred asked.

Matthew froze, starting to wonder if his was all a prank. He started wondering if he should still go or not. _I'll go. Alfred's good at reading people, right? It's probably nothing.. And anyways, Elizaveta did kiss me._ He thought before smiling "Yes. I actually am" he replied "And I have to go now...bye!" he said before running out the front door, which connected to the kitchen.

Alfred told Gilbert to take himself off mute, and so he did. The two started bursting out laughing "Oh god. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he blows out those candles!" Alfred laughed.

Gilbert nodded "I know right! And telling by the silence he made when you said 'You're meeting someone aren't you?' He was probably thinking if it was a prank. But if he left early like he did, he probably was like 'Meh. I don't think it's a prank'. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he finds out Elizaveta was faking all of it and that no one loves him!" he answered.

The two friends continued to laugh and talk over the phone.

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**Please review! I worked really hard on this one!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Sorry I haven't been on . School sucks. **

**OMG! Thanks for all the reviews! I love you all! And also, I might post an updated version of the first chapter. I started re-writing thos story and I honestly think it's slightly better. Tell me if you think I should~**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or any of the characters etc... -.-**

**ONWARDS WITH THE CHAPTER!**

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Matthew finally arrived at the park, it was a little past 2:20pm as he walked up the stone pathway that lead to the main place in the park where a huge fountain lies with benches surrounding it. It was a beautiful afternoon, the sun was shining brightly, causing Matthew's glasses to darken slightly. He looked around to try and see if Elizaveta had arrived yet, but sighed slightly when she didn't. Maybe she's running a little late.. He thought It is only 25 after. He smiled a bit and nodded before seeing the thing he had been wishing to see for the past month. There she was, her beautiful chocolate brown hair curled slightly as it rested on her shoulders over a magnificent-looking white sun dress with flowers on it, Lilys to be exact, matching the flower she had in her hair.

"Hey. Sorry I'm late." Her voice snapped Matthew out of his trance.

"Huh? Oh. Um, it's alright." Matthew replied with a smile.

Elizabeth nodded slightly, glancing around before looking at her watch "2:33" she whispered to herself, she had never been a part of one of Gilbert's pranks before, and didn't really like the feeling she had inside. Is this really what they did to Alfred's poor brother? She didn't know why, she was Gilbert's girlfriend, she had slight pity on Matthew. She let out a sigh.

"What's wrong?" Matthew asked, noticing her sudden decline in excitement, but that lack of happiness was suddenly regained as she perked up slightly and smiled at him.

"Oh! Nothing. Just seeing what time it was." Elizaveta let out a chuckle, trying to make her nervousness unnoticeable. She held up her wrist and looked back at her watch. "We have a couple hours, so what do you want to do?" she asked, looking curiously at him and his features. His skin was slightly paler and he looked a little underweight with the way his shirt rested loosely on his body. He noticed a hint of depression in his violet eyes behind his glasses. This only made her feel even more bad.

Matthew thought for a moment "Why don't we just walk around for a bit and get to know each other?" he answered with a nervous smile, scared that she would think its stupid or something, but was surprised with her answer.

"Sure. That seems fun" Elizaveta replied.

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After a couple hours their conversation got a bit more personal.

Matthew let out a sigh "Yeah... I know but I can't talk to people at school, or else Alfred and Gilbert woul-" he stopped himself from talking

"Nevermind." he looked away.

Elizaveta tilted her head "They'll what?" she asked, concerned. She had completely forgotten about the prank and was actually starting to like Matthew a bit.

"It's just...they keep harassing me at school and playing pranks on me. That's why I was so paranoid about going out with you. I was afraid that Alfred and Gilbert were telling you to, I mean, you were Gilbert's girlfriend for a while.." he explained.

Elizaveta froze slightly when he remembered the prank "You said earlier that your mom was murdered, and that's why you moved here, right?" she asked, a questioning tone in her voice.

Matthew raised an eyebrow and nodded "Yes. Why?" he looked at her, slightly confused.

Elizaveta shrugged "I mean, from your Mother's death, to everything that goes on at school, how do you handle all it without going crazy?" she asked "I know I probably would..."

Matthew looked at her "Oh. Well, I actually can't handle it. I write down my feelings in this journal and thats been helping me a bit. But I actually had planned for me to kill myself on July 17th...but I decided against it. Things are getting better for me." he said with a small smile.

Elizaveta felt her heart sink, she looked at him and nodded "Can I make a quick call?" she asked, fake smiling slightly.  
Matthew nodded.

Elizaveta quickly took out her phone and dialed Gilbert's number, covering her open ear so she could hear better as she walked behind a tree to talk to him.

"Yo! This is the awesome me! Whataya want baby?" Elizaveta could've sworn his voice could be heard from a mile away, but quickly got back on subject.

"Gil..I can't do this anymore. I'm going to tell him that I have to leave or change the plans, but I can't bring him to dinner and have you guys do that to the poor kid. He's struggling, a lot.. please.." She pleaded into the phone.

Gilbert rolled his eyes "Ellie, you don't get it, people like Animal Fucker try to get attention by saying those things. Half of that stuff isn't even true." he explained, he looked at Alfred, who was driving the car, and rolled his eyes, mouthing silently what was happening. They were on their way to Brixx for the dinner part.

Elizaveta took a deep shaky breath "Don't call him that! And did you know he was planning suicide on the 17th?" she asked, a bit more demandingly.

Gilbert laughed like the obnoxious person he was "Oh! Girl getting feisty!...listen babe, you just bring him to dinner, you don't have to do anything, we got it all covered. Now bye!" he said before hanging up.

Elizaveta growled slightly, but accepted that she couldn't get out of this. She sighed and walked back to Matthew "C'mon...let's go to dinner..." she said silently, taking his hand and walking toward the exit of the park towards town.

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**Well~ There it was! Remember to tell me if I should post a new version of this story or not! It'll be that same thing, but with a little stuff added and a bit more detail. **

**Sorry if there were any spelling mistakes . I originally write all my stories on Google Drive and they don't ****_always _****correct EVERY spelling mistake...so yeah. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, here's the new chapter! **

**You already know all the disclaimer stuff and everything...**

**No one still have told me if they want me to post my other version of this...**

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****About 7 minutes later, wait no, 7 minutes and 36 seconds exactly by Elizaveta's watch, the couple arrived at Brixx.

Matthew grinned slightly as he walked inside, all Elizaveta did was glance around nervously. "T-This way..." she said, heading towards the outside area. It was closed in with a tarp and there were many balloons and a huge red banner that said

_**Happy "Birthday" Mattie!**_

in big white letters and on each side of the sentence was a maple leaf. Matthew smiled as he walked around all the tables with white tablecloths over them and a pretty birthday centerpiece in the middle. "Thank you, but you didn't have to do this.." Matthew said, looking at Elizaveta. He then noticed the hint of worry and sadness on her face. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Elizaveta forced a smile "Oh. Nothing! Just thinking.." she nodded.

Matthew nodded slightly in return before looking around again, before back at Elizaveta "So, yeah, like I said, you didn't have to do this." he said.

"I know. I just wanted to give you the...best...birthday ever..." she said the last part very silently.

The Canadian nodded "Well, thank you. It really has been fun. Now the only thing that could ruin it is Alfred and his friends popping out at me and saying it was all a joke..but that's not going to happen, right?" He looked at Elizaveta.

Elizaveta took a deep breath and nodded.

Matthew glanced around again "Who else is coming?" he asked.

Elizaveta froze when she heard laughing coming from behind a table in the back corner.

"ME!" A voice shouted, jumping out from behind the tarp and pushing Matthew's face into the cake on the table in the middle of the room.

"AND ME!" A very familiar voice shouted, holding a video camera...it was Alfred and Gilbert...all of this was a prank.

"And all of these people~!" Gilbert said, pulling up the tarp and revealing a bunch of kids from their school.

Matthew looked up, his face covered in frosting. He stared around at everyone in shock. Watching them all laugh at him..

_"You really thought you would go on a date? What a loser!"_ he heard from the crowd.

_"You will always be alone!"_

_"Why don't you just go kill yourself already?! No one likes you!"_

_"Haha! Matthew actually fell for that!"_

All of those voices rung in his ears, but all Matthew could focus on was his own mind racing with thoughts and emotions. He didn't know what to do..he felt helpless...alone... His eyes teared up as he ran back inside and out of the restaurant, pushing past Elizaveta. He didn't notice that she was crying and trying to run after him.

"Let's tear this sucker down!" Alfred shouted, pulling down the banner "Who wants to have a real party?!" he said, everyone around him cheered.

Gilbert blasted some music and gave everyone some beers. Elizaveta didn't even know how he got them in here...it was a public place and they were all underage..

" C'mon babe! Have a drink and have some fun!" Gilbert said, putting an arm around her shoulder.

She just ignored him, tears still in her eyes and staining her cheeks.

"Aww. You can't possibly feel bad for that fucker! He deserved it!" Gilbert reassured her.

"Yeah! That boy's looooong gone!" Alfred said, sipping on the drink.

And with that, Elizaveta pushed away from the two and walked towards the cake that still had the imprint from Matthew's face on it, but instead of walking to it,she walked past it, to the camera that Alfred had set down on the table. She picked it up and looked at the last video that was taken, which had started when Matthew had walked in, and ended when he left. She put her finger over the little button with the trash can on it and the camera made a little sound and a message popped up saying that the video had been deleted..

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**Sorry it was so short!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, I've decided to keep updating this story. I sort of like this version better than the new one...**

**DISCLAIMER: I dont own Hetalia or any of the characters.**

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Matthew ran back to the house, tears streaming down his face. He opened the front door and slammed it, locking it behind him. He let out deep sobs as he leaned against the door and slid down into a sitting position, burying his face in his knees, not caring if he stained his best pants with this salty water coming out of his eyes that was supposed to show his emotions. Nothing could show how he felt at this moment, the pain and confusion. The anger and hate.

_No one loves me..._

_It was all a joke..._

_The only people that ever loved me are dead..._

_Dad hates me because I remind him too much of mom..._

_Alfred thinks I am his punching bag..._

_Elizaveta thinks I'm an idiot..._

_And I'm a gullible animal fucker..._

The blonde couldn't take it anymore. Everyone hated him. He stood up and walked to the stairs. No one's going to care. No one's going to remember.

Matthew looked behind him at the sound of knocking on the door.

"Matthew?!" He heard Elizaveta say through the door, then another knock and a jiggle of the knob. She was probably just here to rub what just happened in Matthew's face.

"Mattie! Please! Open up!"

This just made Matthew, go upstairs and into his room quicker than he had originally planned to. He closed his bedroom door silently and locked that too. He took a quick glance around the room before spotting his journal. He took his pen and scribbled another entry onto the next blank page.

**_I don't want to remember what date this is... I guess this is my last entry..._**

He continued writing for about 30 seconds before closing the journal and placing it in his drawer. He went over to the box on his desk that held the gun his mother gave him. He opened the box that he hadn't touched in almost 7 years and took out the pistol.

The Canadian went over to his bed and sat down. He felt the cold metal with his fingers before feeling his bed for what he thought would be the last time. The blonde looked at himself in the body mirror that was on the wall across from the place he was sitting on the bed and put the gun to his head. He stared into his own eyes for a couple seconds.

"I love you mom." he whispered to himself before putting his hand on the trigger and pulling it.

_BANG!_

**DARKNESS...**

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Elizaveta quickly looked up at the sound of the gunshot. Her mind raced with thoughts as she felt her heart sink, and sped up at the same time. She hit on the front door harder.

"MATTHEW! OPEN UP!" she screamed, pounding her fists on the wood, not caring if her hands were starting to cut.

"MATTIE!" The brunette cried loudly "P-Please don't tell me that w-was you..." she whispered, starting to cry, leaning her forehead on the door "Please Mattie..."

"What's wrong?!" One of the neighbor's came out of the house next door, holding her cell phone. "I heard a gunshot and called 911 and the police are on their way."

All Elizaveta could do was think about what just happened inside that house. She stared at the ground, her hand still balled in a fist and on the door, her forehead resting there too. Did he really do that? No. This is just her imagination. Matthew will come walking to the door and open it and let her in. She will apologize and everything will be okay.

The Hungarian's hopes were crushed though when she heard the sirens and saw the flashing lights come towards the house. Damn. Those lights were bright...very...very bright...

Before the brunette had a chance to snap back into reality, her vision was blurry and she was staring at the ground.

"What happened?" She heard a man with a deep voice ask.

"I don't know! There was a gunshot coming from the Jones' house and I heard this girl screaming. Then she just fainted! Oh God, please help these poor children and whoever's in the house..." The neighbor said.

And that was the last thing Elizaveta heard of that night.

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Alfred drove home after the restaurant had told them to leave since they were being too loud. He blasted the music as he sped down the street, but slammed on the brakes at the sight of police cars, ambulances, and firetrucks on his street.

"What the...?" he said to himself as he pulled over to see what was going on. He couldn't really see well since the light reflected off his glasses. He walked closer, only to see that the police and ambulances were in front of _his _house.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked himself again. He ran over, under the 'do not cross' tape and to the front door.

"Hey kid! What are you doing here?" An officer asked, trying to get him to go back.

"This is my house!" Alfred answered, pushing the officer away.

"Wait, so do you have a key?" Another asked.

Alfred nodded.

"Well, what are you waiting for?! Open the door!"

Alfred messed around in his pockets to try and find the keys. "Phone...money...k- no, that's some string...Ah-ha! Keys!" he pulled out the golden-colored key and unlocked the door.

Officers and paramedics rushed inside and checked every room, Alfred following them. They reached Matthew's door and tried to open it.

"It's locked, is there a key for this door?" A female paramedic asked.

Alfred nodded and reached up above the door and grabbed the other key "Yeah, but I don't think you-" he froze when he opened the door and saw the scene.

Alfred's eyes widened. Lying on the floor in a pool of blood, was Matthew. Loosely gripped in the Canadian's hand was a gun that Alfred had never seen before. It was a pistol, but it wasn't the kind he usually saw.

The female paramedic rushed over "IN HERE!" she shouted, signalling the others to come rushing in. She put two fingers on the side of Matthew's neck to check for a pulse "He still has a pulse! We need to get him to the hospital! Quick!"

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**Sucky chapter is rushed... Sorry. I'm terrible at writing. **

**And, just to make it clear, I know the paramedics and police would normally knock down the doors if they were locked, but since was, I guess you can say, Alfred's POV at that time, it only said what he saw. So, what really happened was that they were about o knock down the door when Alfred walked up, but then they found out that Alfred had a key and just thought it would be better. IDK. Like I said, I'm not good at writing v.v**


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